I wish I were famous

Dear Ella and Susan
I know this is going to sound really superficial and shallow, but all my life I’ve hankered after being on telly. I used to want to be a Blue Peter presenter. Then it was a weather girl. Now I lie in bed at night fantasising about what I’ll say when I win The X Factor.  I am a 43-year-old nurse and happily married with two kids, and can’t imagine what I would be doing on stage. I mean, I can’t sing, can’t dance, and don’t have any particular talents. I really should get real, right? Can you give me something to read that will bring me to my senses? 
Yours, Gill
Dear Gill,
Your affliction is more common than you think. Many people lust after stardom and the trappings of a celebrity lifestyle – even though all the evidence suggests that those who achieve it struggle enormously with all the attention and resultant pressures.  Despite this, we would encourage anyone with a talent to develop it, for therein lies personal fulfilment. But if, as you say, you really don’t have any obvious talent to develop, we agree that you need to get over this dream once and for all and enjoy the simple but real pleasures that you have around you instead – ie your family and your job.

Luckily we have a powerful and highly effective cure that will expose the nonsensicality of the dream and open your eyes to a more honest and vivid approach to life. I was Amelia Earhart imagines what happened to the famous aviatrix after her plane came down over the Pacific on her final disastrous attempt to circumnavigate round the world. In this imagining, she and her navigator, the alcoholic Noonan with whom she has a tempestuous friendship, survive and live Robinson Crusoe-style on a desert island. Deeply unhappy in their lives back home, they gradually slough off the carapaces of fame and modern life, with the carcass of their plane coming to symbolise all that was before. For each of them, a new, truer self emerges and they begin to share a sensual relationship with themselves – and each other – that was completely unavailable to them before. This beautiful, bold novel will leave you feeling cleansed of all your shallow dreams and raring to embrace something much truer and deeper

TWEETS
@THENOVELCURE

A - Z
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A SLUG WITH VISIONS OF HUMANITYABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP ENDED, LEAVING SCARSADULT ACNEAFRAID OF FAILUREALCOHOLIC DAUGHTERALONE ON A WIDE, WIDE SEAAlways wanted to be a writerANOREXICANXIOUS ABOUT SINGLE FRIENDAT A FORK IN THE ROADAVID READER, LACKING BOOKBEREFT OF A CATBORED IN ALABAMABOTHERED AND BEWILDEREDBRAIN SHRINKING MOMMABROKENBROKEN HEARTBROKEN HEARTED - TORN BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE BEST FRIENDSBROKEN UP WITH GIRLFRIEND; FEELING BURNT OUTCAN’T MOVE ONCANDIDA REVOLTAIRECan’t afford to go on holidayCAST ASIDECHEATEDCHRONIC PAINCOLD HANDS AND FEETCONCERNED ABOUT DAUGHTERCONFLICTED PARTNERSCRAVING FOOD CULTURECYNICAL STEPSONDAILY ABUSEDARK NIGHT OF THE SOULDEPRESSED AND UNABLE TO READDEPRESSED DURING CHRISTMAS, AND LONELY NOWDESPERATELY WANTON GIRLDIRECTIONLESSEASILY BORED WITH NOVELSEMOTIONALLY SABOTAGED BY MY MOTHEREMOTIONS IN EXTREMEEVER THE FRIEND AND NOT THE PARTNEREXTREME ANGER AND FRUSTRATIONFADING AWAYFALLEN OUT WITH MY FRIENDSFALLING IN LOVE WAY TOO FASTFAZED AND CONFLICTEDFEAR OF CONFRONTATIONFEAR OF GETTING OLDFERTILITY PROBLEMSFOMO (FEAR OF MISSING OUT)FORGING A BRIGHT NEW FUTUREFRIEND WHO HAS LOST A CHILD LATE IN PREGNANCYFRIENDS DAUGHTER LOST TO SUICIDEFrightened of lifeGAPING HOLEGetting over a break-upGIRL OF UNCERTAINTY, BOUND BY RULESGIRL WHO DOESN’T FIT INGRIPPED BY LOSSGUILTY FRIENDHOPELESSNESSHOUSE AND LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FIREI love music more than booksI no longer commute – and therefore I no longer readI PEEK AT THE END OF NOVELS BECAUSE I WORRY THE CHARACTER MIGHT NOT MAKE ITI wish I were famousIN MOURNING OVER LITERARY DEATHSINABILITY TO SIT STILL AND ANXIETYINCONSISTENT AND NON-STUDIOUS- BUT AMBITIOUS NONETHELESSINDECISIVEINSECUREINTERESTED IN EVERYTHING BUT ACHIEVING NOTHINGINVISIBLE WOMANITALIAN NOVEL CURESJILTED AND UNSUREJOB IN LIBRARY UNDER THREATKICKED IN THE HEADLEADENLIVING ON THE MARGINSLONE RANGERLONELY AND DEJECTEDLONELY IN LOVELONELY IN MONOTONOUS JOB, LOSING SANITYLOOKING FOR A SENSE OF PURPOSELOOKING FORWARDSLOSS OF A SISTERLOSTLOW WATTAGELOW-ENERGY PESSIMISMMAD SCIENTISTMARRIED TO A MAN, ATTRACTED TO WOMENMISSED THE BOATMISSING MY MOTHER-IN-LAWMUM GOING BACK TO WORKNEED TO LET GONEW CITY, NEW LIFE -BOOKS FOR 12 YEAR OLD BOY?NEW FRIENDSHIP WITH HOLOCAUST SURVIVORNIGHTMARISH COLLEAGUENOMADIC FLANEURPOST NATAL DEPRESSIONPREGNANT AND ALONE