FRIENDS DAUGHTER LOST TO SUICIDE

My dear friends have just lost their beloved adult daughter (and only child) to suicide, after her long struggle with depression. Is there anything you can suggest for comfort, distraction, healing, or making sense of this unbearable loss?
I admire your therapeutic approach very much.
Thank you,
A Caring Friend
Dear Caring Friend,
Thankyou for writing to us at this terrible moment. We fear that your friends will not be able to read at all for some time, but when they do, there are books that will help. Their loss will be appalling and unbearable. But we very much hope that they will not give up in the face of this tragedy. We urge you to make sure that your friends have counselling and support from their friends. Then, perhaps you can leave them these books, knowing that they will pick them up when they are ready to read.
No Time to Say Goodbye by Carla Fine is not a novel, but a factual exploration of suicide by a survivor - Carla Fine's husband killed himself, and she wrote this sensitive and thoroughly researched book as a result. Many relatives of suicides have found the book immensely helpful, as a way of realising that they are not alone, and reaching out to other people in their position. This book could provide some help, in a practical sense, and by showing your friends what other people have gone through in their position - and survived.
The Scent of Dried Roses by Tim Lott is a beautifully written description of depression. Tim Lott is himself a depressive, but it came as a bolt from the blue when his 50 year old mother took her life. His journey to discover what led her to this probes his own past, his genetic make up and his relationship with her. This book could also help, as a way of understanding the depression that led to your friends' daughter's death.
On a more comforting front,  Metamorphosis by Ovid is a great distraction at many times in life, but its metaphysical description of the change from life into death is profoundly moving and uplifting. In this 2000 year old book, women become trees, men become flowers, all life changes from one moment to the next, and death becomes a change of state, rather than something final. There is comfort to be found in this, even at the worst of times, and also the stories and beauty of the poetry may lift your friends at least for a moment into another state of mind.
Soul Food, edited by Neil Astley, is a collection of poems that range from Chang Tzu to RS Thomas, looking at the major issues of life and death. These poems come from a huge range of faiths and nationalities, but all help you  and your friends to look at life and death with greater wisdom and understanding, as well as forgiveness.
With all good wishes to you and your friends,
Ella and Suse
We prescribe - No Time to Say Goodbye by Carla Fine
The Scent of Dried Roses by Tim Lott
Metamorphosis by Ovid
Soul Food: Nourishing Poems for Starved Minds
  • my dear,

    I am a counselor at a clinic for women and children in distress. I also conduct bereavement therapy. I am so thrilled to learn about your book ““Novel Cure”“.

    I read the above suggestion of books for the person in bereavement and happy to use them if any in my sessions.

    you are doing a great job and I admire your effort. I want to buy the book very soon.

    I did send u a mail about a patient in my care. hope to get a reply soon.

    thank you dear and best regard.

    loving and sincere

    moon.

    By muneera surati on 09 Feb 2015
  • Dear Muneera,
    Could you tell us which was the e mail you sent about a client? We are worried we may have missed it - I can’t see it at the moment. We apologise if we have not replied, and are concerned it has somehow slipped our notice. Please could you send us another mail? Apologies again - we have only just seen this comment. All the best,
    Ella and Suse

    By Ella on 11 Mar 2015

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A SLUG WITH VISIONS OF HUMANITYABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP ENDED, LEAVING SCARSADULT ACNEAFRAID OF FAILUREALCOHOLIC DAUGHTERALONE ON A WIDE, WIDE SEAAlways wanted to be a writerANOREXICANXIOUS ABOUT SINGLE FRIENDAT A FORK IN THE ROADAVID READER, LACKING BOOKBEREFT OF A CATBORED IN ALABAMABOTHERED AND BEWILDEREDBRAIN SHRINKING MOMMABROKENBROKEN HEARTBROKEN HEARTED - TORN BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE BEST FRIENDSBROKEN UP WITH GIRLFRIEND; FEELING BURNT OUTCAN’T MOVE ONCANDIDA REVOLTAIRECan’t afford to go on holidayCAST ASIDECHEATEDCHRONIC PAINCOLD HANDS AND FEETCONCERNED ABOUT DAUGHTERCONFLICTED PARTNERSCRAVING FOOD CULTURECYNICAL STEPSONDAILY ABUSEDARK NIGHT OF THE SOULDEPRESSED AND UNABLE TO READDEPRESSED DURING CHRISTMAS, AND LONELY NOWDESPERATELY WANTON GIRLDIRECTIONLESSEASILY BORED WITH NOVELSEMOTIONALLY SABOTAGED BY MY MOTHEREMOTIONS IN EXTREMEEVER THE FRIEND AND NOT THE PARTNEREXTREME ANGER AND FRUSTRATIONFADING AWAYFALLEN OUT WITH MY FRIENDSFALLING IN LOVE WAY TOO FASTFAZED AND CONFLICTEDFEAR OF CONFRONTATIONFEAR OF GETTING OLDFERTILITY PROBLEMSFOMO (FEAR OF MISSING OUT)FORGING A BRIGHT NEW FUTUREFRIEND WHO HAS LOST A CHILD LATE IN PREGNANCYFRIENDS DAUGHTER LOST TO SUICIDEFrightened of lifeGAPING HOLEGetting over a break-upGIRL OF UNCERTAINTY, BOUND BY RULESGIRL WHO DOESN’T FIT INGRIPPED BY LOSSGUILTY FRIENDHOPELESSNESSHOUSE AND LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FIREI love music more than booksI no longer commute – and therefore I no longer readI PEEK AT THE END OF NOVELS BECAUSE I WORRY THE CHARACTER MIGHT NOT MAKE ITI wish I were famousIN MOURNING OVER LITERARY DEATHSINABILITY TO SIT STILL AND ANXIETYINCONSISTENT AND NON-STUDIOUS- BUT AMBITIOUS NONETHELESSINDECISIVEINSECUREINTERESTED IN EVERYTHING BUT ACHIEVING NOTHINGINVISIBLE WOMANITALIAN NOVEL CURESJILTED AND UNSUREJOB IN LIBRARY UNDER THREATKICKED IN THE HEADLEADENLIVING ON THE MARGINSLONE RANGERLONELY AND DEJECTEDLONELY IN LOVELONELY IN MONOTONOUS JOB, LOSING SANITYLOOKING FOR A SENSE OF PURPOSELOOKING FORWARDSLOSS OF A SISTERLOSTLOW WATTAGELOW-ENERGY PESSIMISMMAD SCIENTISTMARRIED TO A MAN, ATTRACTED TO WOMENMISSED THE BOATMISSING MY MOTHER-IN-LAWMUM GOING BACK TO WORKNEED TO LET GONEW CITY, NEW LIFE -BOOKS FOR 12 YEAR OLD BOY?NEW FRIENDSHIP WITH HOLOCAUST SURVIVORNIGHTMARISH COLLEAGUENOMADIC FLANEURPOST NATAL DEPRESSIONPREGNANT AND ALONE