Getting over a break-up

Dear Suze and Ella,
It has taken three months after a break up for me to start crying. Why only yesterday did I sink to the kitchen floor before work for twenty minutes and bawl my eyes out? There's always speculation in gay men's lives to be young and beautiful forever. My boyfriend was nine years younger than me. Self-fulfilling and a bit of a liar. At the moment it feels like he has everything whilst I solidly stare reality in the face, trying to make a living. It also feels that I'm rather disposable. I guess what I'm looking for is something that is exclusively mine, positive and can help me trace my self-value again. And also can help me forget. Maybe I'm looking for too much at once?
Yours optimistically, Chris
Dear Chris,
Youth and beauty are not everything, and those who know this and value more lasting things – kindness, loyalty, the ability to make someone laugh – are the ones who end up happiest in life. Are you sure it is not you who, in fact, seems to value youth and beauty more than they should? Your wondrous, epic medicine is to read one of the most moving gay love stories of recent times, The Song of Achilles by Madeleine Miller. This Orange-prize winning re-telling of the seige of Troy – all seen through the lens of Patroclus, here very much installed as Achilles's longterm lover as well as companion – is a triumphant testament to the power of love to endure. And a very touching, deep love it is too – founded on real respect and honesty. Achilles is of course young and impossibly beautiful (he is half god after all); and Patroclus is also young (roughly thirteen when they get it together.) But it is hinted here and there that Patroclus not a particular looker, and we admire Achilles all the more for appreciating him for other qualities (kindness being one of them.) This gripping novel will inspire you, and keep your optimism in tact. Love like this does exist, and can be yours too. Just concentrate on valuing those qualities of yours which are really worth loving; and you'll soon start turning heads – of all ages – again.
Yours,
Ella and Suse
 
We prescribe - The Song of Achilles by Madeleine Miller
  • Ankara Travestileri here. Travesti Ankara Travestileri Travesti Zuhal Hosdere Ayranci Hoşdere Travestileri Türkiyeden selamlar cok güzel siteye rastladım dolasırken cok beğendim bütün arkadaslarıma dostlarıma bahsedecegim. thank you

    By Ankara Travestileri on 13 Mar 2017
  • Hoşdere Travestileri here. Travesti Ankara Travestileri Travesti Zuhal Hosdere Ayranci Hoşdere Travestileri Türkiyeden selamlar cok güzel siteye rastladım dolasırken cok beğendim bütün arkadaslarıma dostlarıma bahsedecegim. thank you

    By Hoşdere Travestileri on 13 Mar 2017
  • Ankara Travestileri

    By Ankara Travestileri on 03 Apr 2017
  • Great Info, Loved it. Please take a look at some of mine - they relate to my travels and novel which was just released. I hope you like smile here is the link: http://www.lostandfoundthenovel.com .. Gavin

    By Lost and found on 31 May 2017
  • Ankara Travestileri

    By Ankara Travestileri on 19 Jun 2017

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A SLUG WITH VISIONS OF HUMANITYABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP ENDED, LEAVING SCARSADULT ACNEAFRAID OF FAILUREALCOHOLIC DAUGHTERALONE ON A WIDE, WIDE SEAAlways wanted to be a writerANOREXICANXIOUS ABOUT SINGLE FRIENDAT A FORK IN THE ROADAVID READER, LACKING BOOKBEREFT OF A CATBORED IN ALABAMABOTHERED AND BEWILDEREDBRAIN SHRINKING MOMMABROKENBROKEN HEARTBROKEN HEARTED - TORN BETWEEN MALE AND FEMALE BEST FRIENDSBROKEN UP WITH GIRLFRIEND; FEELING BURNT OUTCAN’T MOVE ONCANDIDA REVOLTAIRECan’t afford to go on holidayCAST ASIDECHEATEDCHRONIC PAINCOLD HANDS AND FEETCONCERNED ABOUT DAUGHTERCONFLICTED PARTNERSCRAVING FOOD CULTURECYNICAL STEPSONDAILY ABUSEDARK NIGHT OF THE SOULDEPRESSED AND UNABLE TO READDEPRESSED DURING CHRISTMAS, AND LONELY NOWDESPERATELY WANTON GIRLDIRECTIONLESSEASILY BORED WITH NOVELSEMOTIONALLY SABOTAGED BY MY MOTHEREMOTIONS IN EXTREMEEVER THE FRIEND AND NOT THE PARTNEREXTREME ANGER AND FRUSTRATIONFADING AWAYFALLEN OUT WITH MY FRIENDSFALLING IN LOVE WAY TOO FASTFAZED AND CONFLICTEDFEAR OF CONFRONTATIONFEAR OF GETTING OLDFERTILITY PROBLEMSFOMO (FEAR OF MISSING OUT)FORGING A BRIGHT NEW FUTUREFRIEND WHO HAS LOST A CHILD LATE IN PREGNANCYFRIENDS DAUGHTER LOST TO SUICIDEFrightened of lifeGAPING HOLEGetting over a break-upGIRL OF UNCERTAINTY, BOUND BY RULESGIRL WHO DOESN’T FIT INGRIPPED BY LOSSGUILTY FRIENDHOPELESSNESSHOUSE AND LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FIREI love music more than booksI no longer commute – and therefore I no longer readI PEEK AT THE END OF NOVELS BECAUSE I WORRY THE CHARACTER MIGHT NOT MAKE ITI wish I were famousIN MOURNING OVER LITERARY DEATHSINABILITY TO SIT STILL AND ANXIETYINCONSISTENT AND NON-STUDIOUS- BUT AMBITIOUS NONETHELESSINDECISIVEINSECUREINTERESTED IN EVERYTHING BUT ACHIEVING NOTHINGINVISIBLE WOMANITALIAN NOVEL CURESJILTED AND UNSUREJOB IN LIBRARY UNDER THREATKICKED IN THE HEADLEADENLIVING ON THE MARGINSLONE RANGERLONELY AND DEJECTEDLONELY IN LOVELONELY IN MONOTONOUS JOB, LOSING SANITYLOOKING FOR A SENSE OF PURPOSELOOKING FORWARDSLOSS OF A SISTERLOSTLOW WATTAGELOW-ENERGY PESSIMISMMAD SCIENTISTMARRIED TO A MAN, ATTRACTED TO WOMENMISSED THE BOATMISSING MY MOTHER-IN-LAWMUM GOING BACK TO WORKNEED TO LET GONEW CITY, NEW LIFE -BOOKS FOR 12 YEAR OLD BOY?NEW FRIENDSHIP WITH HOLOCAUST SURVIVORNIGHTMARISH COLLEAGUENOMADIC FLANEURPOST NATAL DEPRESSIONPREGNANT AND ALONE